Thursday, December 10, 2009
I was a mess yesterday. I guess I finally let it out. Its okay im proud I did. Im embracing the changes in my body and actually feel alot better. I read a story about a 25 year old girl and how she got diagonosed with metastic breast cancer after she was married for nine months and for the next two years her and her husband fought and fought till she passed away last nov. Poor girl she was so young and wanted to live. Here I am all worried about nothing. SO I cant breast feed. SO what. My lumps were coming out in the milk did I wanna give that to the baby....no way.....MY breast will get feeling back and I will be okay. I just pray to god that my mind stops racing.....i feel alot better. My game is over with the breasts. IS this lump it, is this one it. 17 yrs of that. GOd is good to me I know he loves me and my son and im going to be okay. I just know it.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
I think thats what I thought today when I woke up at 4am crying so hard. I went back in the hospital November 29 my stiches were opening......The doctor had to remove my implant....for temporary purposes......until my skin gets stronger...ughhhh... I got out Dec 1 its now the ninth I look so weirdo. ON sunday morning I woke up and felt so happy I was like I dont have cancer im not gonna get it...im good GOD Is looking out for me... I been feeling so good, I just dont know what happened this morning.....My poor mom I woke up crying went in her bed, went in the backyard....I almost put my tennis shoes and took off running down the street. I dont know what Im running from anymore, Im going to stop running now....