Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Tears...

These days suck. Tears coming out...tests tommorow....the babies sick.....Im negative in my checking out....my bipolar boyfriend wants to fight with me. My mom keeps making ugly faces at me....I always wonder why these days happen. Its like when its bad....it only gets worse....Well, im gonna wipe the tears away I dont have time to cry because I need to study, and figure out probabilities at the same time while watching coraline with my sick lil boy. He had a bad cold and now pink eye. Im praying it goes away tommorow....The daycare will not like it....lol......Well anyways Monday is coming soon and I have to attempt Im scared, its like re-traumatizing someone. Its bad enough I went mad after the surgery and some how came back to earth but....i kind of got used to have one big boob one small one...But I cant wait though Im going to feel normal again, sexy. Im gonna wear low cut shirts..lol. Its a status symbol to have fake boobs in this world so im gonna play into it. I dont know maybe. I cant help but feel overwhelmed right now, but its almost over. The day I graduate im going to say self, you did it, good job. I wish sometimes that some one was cheering me on....like when I do homework or I need to study.....like saying study you can do it!! Im proud of you. Its really not important ,but it would help sometimes...like maybe take away the knot thats in my stomach of stress and lonliness. Like my boyfriend says Im D.E.S....No Im not IM SMART. Im going to show everyone how much me and may fake boobs can get the hell out of here...never come back...never visit.....never nothing....for this torment.
At least my son will be proud of me when I graduate thats all thats matters. My boyfriends right its all about survival right now....he likes to remind me of how much im on my own....and how much harder I have to work. thanks Daniel.

No comments:

Post a Comment

About Me

My photo
Highly interested in the future of my two children...and creating postive memories for them is my goal. Im a single mother, a ASU graduate and a social worker...by accident.