Monday, June 28, 2010

I graduated ASU !! and then more changes...






I  havent updated in a while I been more stressed and lost than anything. I keep asking myself dude....what are you doing hustle..hustle hustle....I cant stop. Well I graduated ASU and that was a very proud day in my life. I thought it would never happen. My family and friends came and I was tickled pink to say the least. When I got my degree I looked up and saw my son and I almost melted I never have been prouder than since he was born.He is my rock he is my light, that I know I have to keep going for. It was awesome I had a little dinner at oaxaca resturant I had a blast. I really really had a blast it felt like everything that I worked for, and cried for actually made sense. I love my family and friends for being there it was so cool. Well, I keep trying to find a regular job and right now its soooo hard its like me and 10 million others are doing the same thing. I just pray the economy changes. Well, life seems to throw curves at you just when you feel its perfect. I found out i was preganant after I graduated. To make a long story short I was really not going to have it but couldnt go through with that. That is so awful it happens every few minutes all over the united states and I couldnt be part of that. I was like what the hell am I gonna do with another baby, OMG I feel like killing myself...so childish of me to say that...but thats what I thought of. Time went on I told my mom and she was okay with it..all she said is ummmm, lol. I was like woow at least she didnt call me a stupid ass like last time. I know I have alot of work ahead of me. I still need to finish my breast reconstruction, and my throyoid is cutting off my breathing at times. I dont want to tell anyone but thats what going on. Im really not in the best of health my docs told me but they think i i should be okay. Im neverous sometimes, I feel like panicking. Im 33 pregant single, with a little boy. Its seems like alot but I always can find this inner strength inside that sometimtes I think I didnt have. Just when I feel like everything is too much I always find out its not. I have come to realize that I have been able to mask for years my confusion with sex and men. Being a victim of child molestation for many years my versions of sex with men and relationships have been distorted.   I refuse to be afraid to stand up. I love my son abel, and I love my new daughter to come. We are surviors and no one is going to take that away from. This is my baby and we are going to have a good life together and im going to do my best to show my children a good life.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Abel turned three!!

My Love Turned three! We had the most awesome day at enchanted Island and I keep saying it doesnt get any better than him. Im so proud of my baby boy. Everytime I look in his eyes I fall in love everyday. I love my son so much and Im so thankful he is here. I wouldnt do anything different he my miracle. I celebrate his birthdays like christmas. 
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About Me

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Highly interested in the future of my two children...and creating postive memories for them is my goal. Im a single mother, a ASU graduate and a social worker...by accident.