Tuesday, October 19, 2010

peacefulness...and wholeness....

I havent really talked to myself on here..lol in a while but I have a few minutes....uggggg Its tuesday, abels at preschool I left my phone charger at a community center lol...I need to die my hair, I had to call in to work because my mom cant watch abel...and on a brighter note...I kinda started getting unemployment but they didnt give it to me this week because I  have "wages" lol. My wages are change...but i guess I have wages..lol...More than 9 hours now I work 16 hrs...blah... but you know what I actually am happy. For once in like four years GENIUNELY I am happy. I have learned to get rid of permantly bad people that are in your life, so that they good ones can come in. I met a guy his Name is David...I just smiled writing that..lol...The last three weeks of my life have been blissful...He listens to me, he talks to me, he looks me in the eye. I listen to him I cant get enough of those eyes he has, they are so REAL, so adoring eyes... he laughs alot like me, he likes to do what i like to do, he's smart, and OMG so handsome and sexy. Im his girfriend im sorry. lol.....I  think about him all day, he makes me feel special and loved. AND to top it off hes a christian. I asked him to be with me in the hospital when I have the baby. Im so excited to me he was sent to me finally, hes my man I know deep in my heart, he is a good man for me, and im going to take care of him very well. Thats what people who are in love do, they NATURALLY take care of each other. Nothing about love is forced or because "you have to do it" I dont feel like I have to do anything. Im so glad Daniel is finally out of my life. Im going to keep him out. He's been telling me that he feels sorry for me so hes gonna "help me out" lol.....I said really how are you gonna do that? Well, I feel bad for you pregnant and alone and no love or attention so I SHOULD give you attention is what he told me. He also went to abels soccer game to help and stayed ther five minutes marching out  " I left my kids for this!!" lol......Goodbye Daniel Good bye with your evil self and your pity that was not necessary, an i was honest at least with him when he would say do you have feelings for me and I would say no, then he would say am I only here for abels game and I would say uhhh yes  lol but I dont have that problem anymore more...lol...He was the worst relationship I could honestly say I ever had in my entire life, not even Larry was like that....ugggg  I could actually say I mean the men that were in my life have been in my life for years, I just never dated people for a little while...or anything...so that I am proud of myself...i just dont have random men in my life...the unfortunate party 0f the last...2.25 years is the two losers were just kind a their one abels dad to give me money, and Daniel to keep me entertained on the cell phone...lol...cause thats really what our relationship was a cell phone relationship. We werent "together"  like I didnt spend the night at his house but once....we never did alot of things together..he was always drunk...I went to my families parties and he went to his alone...their was never a togetherness I felt...I guess I was just seeing him all this time and I thank GOD up above I dont see him anymore....uggggg the stress and drama is gone and feel so set free....people in your life can bring you down and make you depressed thats all he did to me every day.....GOODBYE and thank you GOD for sending me my prince charming I plan to be the best women I ever been for my David. I feel so happy and loved.

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About Me

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Highly interested in the future of my two children...and creating postive memories for them is my goal. Im a single mother, a ASU graduate and a social worker...by accident.