Friday, January 7, 2011

Madison Comes on My Birthday!!!

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On my 34th birthday at 534pm Madison is in the world!! We got home from the  hospital this monday, I been resting alot abels been going to daycare so I can rest. What I wanted to tell you whoever reads  this how cool it is to have a daughter added to my little family. I can admit these past couple days I been sad, crying, laughing, quiet, loud, kinds of things ....I hear I have the baby blues but its normal my doc said. Its surreal...Its like wow....Me and abels life is going to change....and I have so much plans for us. Only thing missing from my lil happiness bubble is a good man for us, and I know he will be here soon. David is still somewhat in my life but im not sure if he is staying, ;-( I know I miss him and he really made me happy but hes being so distant its almost like hes gone, so all I can do is pray about it, and give it to god and if its meant to be it will happen.
Things are changing already, my job might lay me off because they dont want to approve my leave and thats fine I was mad but thats okay. My mind is clear and foucsing on my plans for Phoenix Princess, and Lowrider baby clothing, Im planning my surgeries, Im planning a vacation with my babies and my momma. My mom what I wouldnt do without her. She has been there for every minute and was sitting right next to me at the csection scared as a bat, but being tough. She is the best women in the world and a good role model for me if it wasnt for her, I have no idea where I would be in the world I thank you Mom for being the best mom and caring for me none stop no matter what you taught me to be a good god fearing women and I feel lucky to be your daughter.
Its no surprise that I have the baby blues other stresses could have caused it, like fear and anxiety of thinking all the burdens of the world are on me, and I have to do it alone. Thats what it is, its like the single moms secret woas, and cries. We have to do it all alone.Their is noone else going to take care of us and our kids only god and us. If god blesses us with a good man who wants to be a family, and wants to be happy with us he will. Untill then I am going to be happy with my life, as I always am until god decides to bring him to us. The man who wants to be happy with us, I know hes out there, and I know one day he will be sitting next to me and contentment will be the leading feeling for my life.
I love you Jesus I love you so much, thank you for everything you did and do in my life and for another day to breath....and be alive..

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About Me

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Highly interested in the future of my two children...and creating postive memories for them is my goal. Im a single mother, a ASU graduate and a social accident.