Wednesday, January 26, 2011

RSV suck....Respitory Virus???


RSV...and it can be fatal to newborns....then NICU...Thats all I been hearing since saturday evening that the doctor told me that at the phoenix childrens hospital...these acroyms...I would learn totally about in the next few days to come....
On Saturday...the 22nd of Jan...I found madison blue and trying to breath in the bassinett....I didnt panick...thats the worst I knew I could do... I started to pat her on the back and blew in her face...she madea a loud whistle sound and went limp but managed to start breathing and I watched her. I called her dad even though I been steering pretty clear of him because I was really worried...of course he didnt answer..and text me to put vicks on her chest..and that im overreacting...which I will talk about later...anyways...I called her pediatrican which I just went to take her too on friday because she appeared sick..and had a 99.1  fever...abels sick...and of course I got it too...we been coughing and had didnt seem like flu but just a bug. Her doc said just keep watching her and doing the humidifer like Ibeen doing and cleaning out her nose. Well...he should have tested her for RSV what if I didnt find her not breathing what if  feel asleep or something...the what ifs keep going through my head..but thankfully i found her. It was like it was meant to me because my wonderful best friend Robertta just had picked up abel so i could take care of madison and me she said you never rest...little did I know...I really would get no rest in the next couple of days. My mom had borrowed my car and about 15 minutes after I was watching my  daughter sleep my mom came and we left immediatley to PCH.
We arrived and in no time they were admitting her to the Newborn Intestive Care unit and she would be in a isolation room.. Everyone had to wear these protection suits for themselves...for their safety and hers...the next couple of days were a blur...suctioning her nose...oxygen for her...every two hours...feedings...a small couch...with a blanket and a pillow for me...waking up every two hours...maybe less...eating in the cafeteria...going back..before she wakes was scary... it was scary that her mucos just keep coming and coming and coming...she was so tired...and her lil weak cries...I prayed alot...slept a little...but I kept knowing that she will be okay and she is... ;-) We got home yesterday. I was okay with going home her mucos was not as bad at all enough for a bulb suctioner her cough is good they said even though I feel bad when she coughs her lil chest...sounds painful....

I learned alot about the last couple of days...I actually in the last couple of months have learned so cousin got killed in november over a brothers child hood friend got shot while he was sleeping in his house for no reason at daughter got a cold that could be fatal for made me stop and think HEY, pay attention more...calm down....I was not blaming myself...but I think the stress from work they want to lay me off and not give me my twelve week maternity leave they want me to go back asap...which is weird when I dont even work ten hours a week....Abel has been having some issues because of Madison which i know is normal...I think...the o ther day he slapped me hard when he was in the bath tub because I told him to get out.. I did start crying lol...becuase we had just ran home from the doctors office becuase I forget madisons formula...and managed to get abel to chase me, we only live 5 minutes away from the docs office..and I fed her and got him in the bath and was exhausted  because of lack of sleep with him being sick, me being sick...and the new babys when I started crying I yelled out leave me alone!!! My son looked at me and hugged me and said im sorry...mommy I said put your PJs on and go to bed..for the first time in his 3.5 years he did what I said...he has had more incidents but they are fading off I keep talking to him and tell him i love him and include him with his sister.
I think for most families maybe its easier in these transition times when a new sibling comes in because both parents can help each other when one feels hes not getting attention....Well its just mee...but im learning how to spread it out...Abel and Madison have been to daniels and he does help but its not a 24-7 for sure thing which is okay by me whatever  helps.
I should  have been more proactive and worn a mask when I was nursing her, and asked for more help with abel instead of letting him just cough everywhere, he should of just stayed somewhere...I cant beat myself up anymore but Im just so glad... I caugght my daughter on time...and everything is okay..with her...and I promise to be dilgent in making sure she is warm and stays away and is safe as much as I can do from sick people even though Im sure I gave it to her but im her only care giver...being a single mom is hard on us...and the situations like this...but we made it and my kiddos will always make it through...i never give up ever.

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Highly interested in the future of my two children...and creating postive memories for them is my goal. Im a single mother, a ASU graduate and a social accident.