A Single Mom who puts who her best thoughts her best actions all out for Jesus and her the two Angels he sent her..we are not perfect but we are family.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
its a crossroads...all week I been depressed because of my heartbreak...and Im at the point of moving on now..
me and Abel and my mom went to my favorite place Margaret T. Hance park yesterday and the Japanese friendship garden my second favorite place it was so awesome. I got lunch for us Abel played with the puppies in the park it was like a perfect day.
Inside I was sad..I keep asking myself why!!!! he doesn't want to the be the man for you let it go now!! I guess I was really sure he was so perfect and let downs aren't my strong point. So this is the post about me being sad because im letting him go now and I will be fine. Last night was the final cry and right in the middle of it.. I said to myself...omg self...you are such a sissy right now stop it now..get your head out of your ass...get your mind right what were our plans before Madison? LAW SCHOOL....you must apply for law school now...So that is the plan...then I thought the military since you have before your 37 right lol..thank god im not 37...hehehe the air-force has so many benefits it would be great for my kids. My job search continues im looking for a job very far away from my family. Is that bad? I hope not...I just want some space now so I can raise my kids and live my life SPACE far away...im even thinking of Disneyland just me and abel it would so awesome I know we would have fun. Im at a crossroads in my life of serious change. God continues to shape me into a smart educated women and I thank him for that. Im reading the book of genesis and they talk about "he took a wife" and the husband is "the master" and he wanted a wife...they even married again after their wives died and had more kids very similar I think to the way it is today. I agree and have always agreed the husband is the "leader" I call it like the master. I will im assuming find my master someday im guessing, until then I have to be my own master and create my own destiny. I cant wait let the destiny making begin!!