Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Fast...Learning...Relaxation and Love..
Look at this pic. Its like a dream...seeing abel smile...seeing abel be a kid a happy kid, makes me so proud. Im so proud of my son and maddy. Abel is so innocent, hes so imaginative im so happy hes such a amazing kid. At night we run around the house like dinosaurs, we eat ice cream watch disney movies all the time he gets to play all the time everyday goes so fast im so tired by the end of the day but I dont care. I dont really care Im always tired, I have gotten very used to it. I have a job interview tommorow at Southwest Network as a case manager. Its a second interview the phone interview I passed. Im a little nervous im settled in to not working. I decided to work on my shirt business very seriously. I have a shirt clothing line that I designed after abel was born. I feel blessed because since Abel was born I managed to not work full time, design a clothing line that has been my dream since I was little girl, get my bachelors degree and finally I think GROW UP. I have managed to grow in the last couple of weeks substantially. I have learned about what I want, what I need what my future accomplishments will be. My own full time businness is near. I have so many business ideas that are in the works that im putting in motion...that are all going to manifest in the near future and Im very proud. Im a very proud person right I could admit. I love to learn I love to learn from my mistakes so I dont do it again its awesome to have a clear mind now. Sunday me and David went to the casino. I love that man. I love him, just saying his name brings a tingle in my body. I look at him and I see such a smart hard working man. It was interesting to talk with him over lunch about he knows his past makes him scared to be serious like with me, he wants to make sure that im not going to just "leave" when I get mad or something. I talked about my learning lately about relationships and about how I know whatt I want and my plans it was really cool. I mean just sitting next to him..is cool he makes me feel so calm so safe like he would never hurt me even though he has. I think about that...I called him out on his "incidents" and he said hes sorry. I know he didnt mean it or anything..Like when larry or Daniel did things they meant it. Davids things he does are pulling away things not wanting to get close kind of things. I told him every holiday every special event...you disappear and I dont understand even though in a way I do..I dont know when you will let your past go and move into something beautiful we can be. Last night on the phone he said when he gets his apartment me and him and the kids will sleep all on one bed until we get a house in a year. That made me feel so happy and secure just the statement is a change so we will see what happens, untl then my momentum continues. Daniel is on my Fb lol..I know its kind of funny...he actually is turning into my great friend and my dependant with the kids right now....I have been enjoying solo time because he takes the kids and wants to take the kids it feels good even if its some kind of weird plan he might think that I might go back with him...NOT...it feels really good right now...to have clarity, a lil consistency, a new change and a new outlook on every day. Its very awesome.