Saturday, August 20, 2011

Strength from Above...

Thats where I keep getting my strength I can feel it. I can smell it. I can feel the angels hand on my back letting me know its going to be okay. The part that is the hardest is the fear of the unknown.  I remember when I was a detention officer in training thats what the sgt said.. the hardest part is the fear of the unknown. To overcome your fears will make you be able to handle anything that happens at work and in your life. He made a impact on me, cause whatever I do that I never done before I always picture him saying that and for some reason it always makes me feel safe and better. I say well lets go I got this. I mean if I used to run into grown men fighting in the jail like no bodys business. lol..I kind of feel like im fighting right now to get that feeling back.
I was young, I had endurance, I had no fear I was healthy...I want it back.  I want my endurance back my health...and like yesterday I went hiking on thunderbird mountain it practically took my whole might. I mean seriously..> im just hard on myself you know... I used to run up and down like nothing...and my big o butt..was struggling stiff but I did it and I felt good.
I feel like im fighting for my life back..and I want it bad enough im not giving up. I also have a little wager going on with DAVID.  I have to prove to him..im strong. Im actually proving to myself..I can do anything like I used to...My healthy long life will continue I will get my mind strong..my body...all for God first...my family  then Me....My kids need me...without me in the world they are on their own...so Im gonna put this out their in the universe now..I wanna be alive I wanna be healthy I wanna raise my kids.....so im here to stay in this world.Like I told my mom Im not going out with out a fight..I been going to aerboics everyday...or hiking..or walking....Im goinf to heal and its going to be fast. Thank you Jesus for another day.

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About Me

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Highly interested in the future of my two children...and creating postive memories for them is my goal. Im a single mother, a ASU graduate and a social worker...by accident.