Friday, November 28, 2014

Motherhood, losing it, being overbooked.....aeggggg

 I haven't been keeping up with all the craziness going on...I been so busy in the last few months I jumped to my throat.....on my last post...lol....Lets go back..I took the kids and my mom Julian was with us to San Diego for a week we went to Universal Studios and Sea world and spent a week on the beach.
I came back and took gabe to Vegas for his birthday.....within hours I was on a plane.....Update you later on those shenanigans.






Busy

Im to busy I have come to terms with it. lol..Im in bed staring at the well trying to not be busy yeah right hahah. Well Happy Thanksgiving 2014 It was a beautiful Thanksgiving for me at Abel's House Inc.
 https://www.facebook.com/pages/Abels-House-Non-Profit-Organization/351826454900733?ref=hl

Check out Abel's House Inc. thanksgiving on our facebook.

Check this page out too they have done alot for me when it comes to translating. http://www.rosettatranslation.com/

The Kids are getting big Time is going fast.
I love these two with all my heart. Without them i wouldnt know any better. I wouldnt be any better. Life needs to slow done cause im trying to catch up.

xoxoxo Mo.


Thursday, August 14, 2014

Side business working from home and anywhere on the computer

So you know I get into everything right? I stumbled upon this and its a Work from home Job. I know it sounds silly, and  I thought they didn't exsist  but they do@!



http://www.monicamedrano.weebly.com/

Try this business and you will be glad you did, you have nothing to lose. Trust me. xoxoxo back to work


 Start today
http://monicamedrano.weebly.com/

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Fucking Throat Cancer

Im just not feeling well today I found out I have some fucking throat cancer. I dont know what else to say is but Im pissed and I need to get it together.

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Whoa I been busy...

I have come to think I have adhd or something...I usually am able to handle all my businesses but once In a while it gets overwhelming....maybe its natural or maybe its me always trying to find the answer to a problem. 

Lately I have been feeling pretty good, I continue to try and watch what I eat, I got off the fork diet...lifting forks all the time to my mouth...lol...


I been working on heath. Thats my focus getting healthy...for the kids because If something happens to me...they will be on their own...I cant have that..so I been hiking...

I been working on changing what I what and drink...No soda....no bread....no pasta...plant protein meals....and stepping up on my workout...I mean I pay for a personal trainer at GOLDS gym and dont go....I even went to see about a tummy tuck...I felt so silly...lol...


I will prevail...I will command Health Now!!! all the doctors can just forget surgeries and stuff cause I have had it...God is in control and thats it...

Monday, April 21, 2014

Angels talking to me in my sleep....

Angels talked to me in my sleep....a few weeks ago. They said that I will die of the devastating disease of cancer in 1.5 years this is my last warning to take care of myself. For a crazy reason I told gabe this last night and I don't remember. I told him that I saw him with his new wife...and hes going to be happy...and the kids will be okay.


 
I don't understand why I told him that, that's stuff I only knew. I thought about it everyday...It scared the shit out of me enough to start working on my self. My peacefulness, my life...my thoughts my body....my everything.
 
 
 
 
Its going to be okay..I need to just slow down...and focus on  God first, my kids, gabe.....and rest...
 
 
I LOVE JESUS.....if you are reading this can you say a prayer for me and my family.
 

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Headaches...Prioritizing...

All the stuff that goes on with me...I cant even keep up. That's how life is right? or wrong. Appointments, meetings, doctors, abels house, Phoenix Princess, A an M printing...Blood tests...homeschooling abel, Maddys ballet..bills piled up with my name on them....ahhhhh!!!!  Lately I been having some pretty scary headaches that I never had before. Im not a sissy or anything I can take pain okay...I had brain surgery and my boobs removed....nothing scares me lol....these headaches are scaring me.
The genetics blood that has been hanging over my head scares me. I never told anyone but I most likely have  some genetic crap that causes tumors.. I need a blood test that costs 2,000......my kids need one...(STRESS)
Last week I took Abel too his developmental pediatrician and she had nothing nice to say.  She basically always says Abel is retarted and try's  to tell me how to cope. When she well first off...lets start off good...and please don't yell at me again.....I started to laugh...I said you know what... I am not going to yell at you...and I don't know why we come here but....its okay....Your not god and you don't see him in my house or in life everyday, so everything you say he is me and my family and friend know you are wrong...but I will listen to your PROFFESIONAL outlook cause somewhere someone thinks you have all the answers but I know you don't. So in the conclusion Abel also needs a genetic test called Fragile X and for my gene problems.
I sometimes cry throught the day....no one knows that..but you now since you read this....Im not giving up hope...I just need to figure out what the hell is going on with us. Maybe its just me Im crazy or something...I don't know...
The other night I broke down in the middle of the night and told Gabe Im overwhelmed I don't know what to do!!! ahhhhhhhh he calmed me down and said yes you do, yes you do... I don't have energy...Im always running around trying to work on my own businesses....I miss appointments, I reschedule appointments, I have meetings...I forget absolutely everything. At the easter pageant I accidently fumbled a few times on some of the kids bios...and forget what I was gonna say a few times...geez.... My brain is going out..or healing...that's better my brain is healing.

A lady posted a bad comment on my facebook about my pageant. Im glad she did...she sparked so much interest and so much people that want to help me. See how the devil is...trying to work against us but it worked in my favor. Thanks mean lady!!   Im really lucky I have people around who believe in what I do. More people want to help and I got a big meeting with some important people for Abels house. I emailed a lot of NBA teams and NFL teams to get the princess recognized at their games. Cross your fingers for our kids.

I feel like Abels House men are my kids, the Pageant Princess are my kids. I want to protect them. I want to teach them to love Jesus. Remember folks...Im still here after my brain surgery...because of a mission.....

My mission will never stop..... check out last weekends easter pageant....



https://www.facebook.com/pages/Phoenix-Princess-Beauty-Pageant/164020723664419?ref=hl
so much more on the facebook.....



So in closing today..since its early and I haven't really slept....one more thing the red moon was last night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1



Jesus is coming back.....



How are you living your life for him. What do you do that changes that world....Are you just living? or are you Living a Legacy........


 

Monday, March 17, 2014

Learning and Remembering what you been through

I had the pleasure of being invited to a photoshoot called "Forget for one day" dedicated to women who have or had cancer by a amazing women named Tanya Moreno. I was kind of nervous to attend, and don't really think about my health issues as much.
Photos by Brooke Marcella Photography www.brookemarcella.com Brooke Marcella Photography — at Rochelle's Salon and Spa.
 I am so consumed with my kids and businesses that thinking about what happened is a thing I don't do but I said well its gonna be fun.  When we did the photoshoot I had a blast. So many courageous women in the room, I was so very proud to be with other warriors like myself. As  I got my and makeup done I had a awesome time I felt like a princess.  It was so cool. I couldnt wait to recieve the pics. When I got them I kept looking at the pictures and thinking why I took the pictures.  Those pics brought me back to something maybe I didn't realize. I added the words brain surgery, mastectomy...radiation on a pic. I kept staring at it..... I thought that's a lot of shit....to go through. I remember crying a lot....sometimes even screaming....and wanting to run and run until I couldn't take it anymore. I remember being alone a lot....crying and crying...Anxiety like a monster. I even thought for a while I didn't want to live anymore. I could see it all in these pictures...Me the real me...the one who tries to be strong and fearless when Im really weak and scared...I was in awe...of my old brokenself. The constant fear of .I didn't what was coming next wore on me back then. I remember once I was hospitalized for leukemia...on the way to my midterms I got really sick..turns out god was healing me then....cause the second tests were negative for leukemia. So when my breasts were threatened that they needed to  be removed....it was a lot and seemed to be unbearable.

I couldn't take the idea of my breasts being removed....they were  my pride they were my women hood. I felt devasted. After my surgery and its complications...one of my implants almost fell out. For two weeks I didn't shower...I don't know how I went to school still and work...but I did...I didn't really take care of my son...I even screamed in the backyard one afternoon...asking for someone to help me. Someone did. GOD did. He heard me screaming I ran to my truck and went driving. I went looking for a church and ended up going to a nun monastery. I went to the call box and said I need to talk to someone, she said why? I said I don't want to live anymore.
The gates opened .A lil old lady came walking out her name was sister Linda. She hugged me and said sit down. I said I think God brought me here, she said of course. I said I need prayer because I cant seem to understand why my breasts were removed...what did I do to deserve this? She said did you have a mastectomy....embarrassingly I said yes....She said how old are you? 32. She says wow, when I was 39 I had mine. My  eyes got big. YOU HAD THE SAME SURGERY.....?? I felt relived someone who unders,tands Yes I did.
God healed me that day. I felt like I wasn't alone anymore...I still went everyday to the monastery and cried on a swinging bench...all while sister linda prayed with me and I prayed for god to forgive me for having those thoughts I could never leave my son Abel alone.


 
 
 
Time went on,  I started to get used to it ...I ended up putting a actual implant in my bra until we could start reconstructing the side that broke. I started to shower and even put makeup on. Little by little my life...was getting back and I was slowly...BUT.I didn't look at my chest for two years...
 
I spent times in the hospital...for reconstruction...and appts..but still it wasn't enough,,,I even spent th night in the hospital and went to class in the morning a few times.  I got  a expander...and it was to stay for six months...The excitement of graduating Arizona State University...was suddenly taking over....and I was excited for my final surgery...I wanted to wear a bathing suit so bad. Something changed....
I found out I was pregnant with my daughter the day I graduated ASU. Me and her dad were dating for three years....and it was not the best relationship....needlessly I was stunned... my expander didn't come out for two years.  My brain tumor grew when I had my mastectomy...I was supposed to watch it for three years and that's it. It wasn't supposed to.grow...when I found out it did...I screamed and shook for hours until my mom got home...I needed surgery shortly after that and Maddy was only 7 months old and Abel four . Brain surgery was a shocker yes....This time I did it...with no tears...I said god please give me the strength to be fearless so my family isn't scared...please lord.
God granted me that. FEARLESSLY  I went into brain surgery with prayers all night to Jesus that if he lets me live... I will do everything I can to spread love in the world....He heard my prayers...he heard my tears....
Im still here.
I have been blessed to spread love in the world as much as I can since my surgeries and radiation.  Most recently Nov 2013 I had two more brain tumors that needed radiation or one possibly would take out eyesight on one eye for me.
 
My response....."lets do this fearlessly cause I got things to do" and I did it like a champion.
When I share my story...I usually get a awful....or OMG.....poor thing....I always say "don't feel sorry for me...no way...Im so blessed to have the best doctors..and to be able to go through it. .I mean my skull was open...and Im doing fine lol....that's how God works...he heals...he sent me where I needed to go. I thank you Lord Jesus every morning, me and abel and maddy pray before school, before we eat....I want them to learn that with God first all blessings will come.
 
I thank Ms. Tanya Moreno and Denise Nicole Photography and Kami the makeup artist...they helped me remember what I did in the worst time I used to think I was in...when it was really the best. I thank God for the bad and the good. We all in school and learning...those were just lessons...
 
 
I hope if you are reading this
 
 
I helped you in someway..and gave you strength. I remember I looked online for hope and I couldn't find it. Now all I do all day for the world is try and give hope to anyone I can so they will realize its going to be okay it always is Good or Bad.
 
 Love to all the world........
 
Love Monica
 

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Businesses and Busy ness Busy Bee, Phoenix Princess Pageants oh my!!

I have been so crazy busy neglecting my blogging soo sorry!! but to update I am continuing to do well after my raditiation. I have some minor headaches but im feeling amazing~~ I have been working my tail off on the Phoenix Princess Valentine Pageant. It will be help at Murphy Park in Glendale, arizona on 51st avenue and glendale.
Come out and Join the pride of Phoenix The Phoenix Princess Pageant. www.phoenixprincesspageant.info Check out the Phoenix Princess Pageant Facebook https://www.facebook.com/pages/Phoenix-Princess-Beauty-Pageant/164020723664419

About Me

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Highly interested in the future of my two children...and creating postive memories for them is my goal. Im a single mother, a ASU graduate and a social worker...by accident.