Monday, April 21, 2014

Angels talking to me in my sleep....

Angels talked to me in my sleep....a few weeks ago. They said that I will die of the devastating disease of cancer in 1.5 years this is my last warning to take care of myself. For a crazy reason I told gabe this last night and I don't remember. I told him that I saw him with his new wife...and hes going to be happy...and the kids will be okay.


 
I don't understand why I told him that, that's stuff I only knew. I thought about it everyday...It scared the shit out of me enough to start working on my self. My peacefulness, my life...my thoughts my body....my everything.
 
 
 
 
Its going to be okay..I need to just slow down...and focus on  God first, my kids, gabe.....and rest...
 
 
I LOVE JESUS.....if you are reading this can you say a prayer for me and my family.
 

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Headaches...Prioritizing...

All the stuff that goes on with me...I cant even keep up. That's how life is right? or wrong. Appointments, meetings, doctors, abels house, Phoenix Princess, A an M printing...Blood tests...homeschooling abel, Maddys ballet..bills piled up with my name on them....ahhhhh!!!!  Lately I been having some pretty scary headaches that I never had before. Im not a sissy or anything I can take pain okay...I had brain surgery and my boobs removed....nothing scares me lol....these headaches are scaring me.
The genetics blood that has been hanging over my head scares me. I never told anyone but I most likely have  some genetic crap that causes tumors.. I need a blood test that costs 2,000......my kids need one...(STRESS)
Last week I took Abel too his developmental pediatrician and she had nothing nice to say.  She basically always says Abel is retarted and try's  to tell me how to cope. When she well first off...lets start off good...and please don't yell at me again.....I started to laugh...I said you know what... I am not going to yell at you...and I don't know why we come here but....its okay....Your not god and you don't see him in my house or in life everyday, so everything you say he is me and my family and friend know you are wrong...but I will listen to your PROFFESIONAL outlook cause somewhere someone thinks you have all the answers but I know you don't. So in the conclusion Abel also needs a genetic test called Fragile X and for my gene problems.
I sometimes cry throught the day....no one knows that..but you now since you read this....Im not giving up hope...I just need to figure out what the hell is going on with us. Maybe its just me Im crazy or something...I don't know...
The other night I broke down in the middle of the night and told Gabe Im overwhelmed I don't know what to do!!! ahhhhhhhh he calmed me down and said yes you do, yes you do... I don't have energy...Im always running around trying to work on my own businesses....I miss appointments, I reschedule appointments, I have meetings...I forget absolutely everything. At the easter pageant I accidently fumbled a few times on some of the kids bios...and forget what I was gonna say a few times...geez.... My brain is going out..or healing...that's better my brain is healing.

A lady posted a bad comment on my facebook about my pageant. Im glad she did...she sparked so much interest and so much people that want to help me. See how the devil is...trying to work against us but it worked in my favor. Thanks mean lady!!   Im really lucky I have people around who believe in what I do. More people want to help and I got a big meeting with some important people for Abels house. I emailed a lot of NBA teams and NFL teams to get the princess recognized at their games. Cross your fingers for our kids.

I feel like Abels House men are my kids, the Pageant Princess are my kids. I want to protect them. I want to teach them to love Jesus. Remember folks...Im still here after my brain surgery...because of a mission.....

My mission will never stop..... check out last weekends easter pageant....



https://www.facebook.com/pages/Phoenix-Princess-Beauty-Pageant/164020723664419?ref=hl
so much more on the facebook.....



So in closing today..since its early and I haven't really slept....one more thing the red moon was last night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1



Jesus is coming back.....



How are you living your life for him. What do you do that changes that world....Are you just living? or are you Living a Legacy........


 

About Me

My photo
Highly interested in the future of my two children...and creating postive memories for them is my goal. Im a single mother, a ASU graduate and a social worker...by accident.